What Success ‘Looks’ Like vs. What Success ‘Feels’ Like
I’m often asked questions like: “How can I move forward POWERFULLY towards my dreams?”
I’m not kidding when I say, “I wish I knew.” But over here, what can LOOK like me “moving forward powerfully” rarely FEELS like that.
It was a life changing insight for me when I first realized that I tend to compare how everyone else looks on the outside with how I feel on the inside.
And that’s like comparing apples with oranges.
Over the past two years, some people could look at me and say that my business has grown exponentially and that I’ve had more success than ever before.
Or, if they took the time to talk to me — and if I was brave enough to speak the truth — they would discover the complexities and challenges of that time and the emotional roller coaster that I’ve been on…
I was heartbroken over the death of my father, two years ago. I had almost no energy and felt completely overwhelmed in the months that followed.
I now look back on that period as one of the most challenging periods of my life.
I had such a tough time generating new business in the months that followed that I used up most of my savings.
Being a dad to my two little boys at the same time was exhausting.
As I began to enroll for the second year of 4PC, I felt completely out of my depth and almost quit.
I’ve been so afraid to write my second book that I’ve held back on it for almost two years.
My team has grown so fast I sometimes get afraid of how and where I’ll create the money each month simply to run my business (let alone to grow it) and that it would be so much easier to go back to having just a few private clients and a single personal assistant.
As much as I talk of always choosing to head in the direction of my fears, I sometimes get so afraid that I shut down completely and overdose on Netflix. Or I get so overly picky about the details with my team that I totally frustrate them.
I was mortified when my business consultant told me I was a bottleneck in my own organization.
I’m so good at helping others take care of themselves but I get exhausted and don’t know how to stop and take care of me.
Last month alone:
- I lost $10,000 because I made a single mistake.
- I was too afraid to ask to speak on the stage at a conference I’m attending.
- Despite having a friend who wants to introduce me to several billionaires he knows, to interview then for my next book, I’ve been paralyzed by fear and resisted asking him to set up the meetings.
- And I wrote a poorly worded email to some potential clients, instead of calling them, and probably lost their business because of it.
Here are two suggestions if you’d like to “be powerfully moving forward…” in the direction of your dreams:
1. Take Tiny Steps
Even Exponential Success only happens one tiny step at a time.
Stop worrying about being powerful. That can only be judged from the future.
Instead, wake up each morning and ask yourself, Who Can I Serve? Or What Can I Create?
Go serve someone.
Go create something.
And that’s it. Job done.
I had these bracelets designed and made for everyone at my last intensive.
On the front they say: Serve. Create.
On the back there’s a check mark (a tick if you’re British).
I told them, wake up every day and find a way to serve one person or to create one thing.
Then turn your bracelet over. Because you’re done for the day.
Dream big. But take tiny steps.
2. Change Your Time Frame.
You can’t measure success as an entrepreneur on a daily, weekly, or even a monthly basis.
Because success as a coach or as an entrepreneur is a ride.
There are successes and there are struggles.
There are ups and downs.
There are YESes and NOs.
A helluva lot of failures, struggles, downs and NOs – if you REALLY want to be successful!
So the only true way to measure success is from THE FUTURE.
You have to give up any attachment to what’s coming next or how things ‘should’ turn out.
Really. One day you’ll be rocking slowly back and forth in your chair sharing stories with your grandkids and THAT will be the moment that you’ll see – maybe for the first time – what those struggles were for and how those missed opportunities, that broke your heart at the time, turned into your greatest learning experiences.
So, how DO you move forward POWERFULLY towards your dreams?
You dream bigger than you’ve ever dreamed.
You take one tiny step at a time.
You take action without attachment.
Nobody said it was going to be easy. But if you’re seeking to make an impact, the easy path isn’t for you.