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The Me vs Them Effect: The Truth About Success (& My Embarrassing Struggles)

Have you ever wondered why the path to success seems so daunting? The truth is, we often compare our worst moments to everyone else’s highlight reels – so we miss the challenges they’ve faced along the way.

Let me give you a little insight into my success in two careers that most people would never know…

My Embarrassing Moments as a Teacher

My first ever day as a teacher was an observation in a class of 6 year olds. When the teacher invited the kids to sit in a circle to ask me questions, I was excited.

I had no idea how embarrassing things were going to get…

A child raised her hand, and as I leaned forward with a smile, she asked, “Why do you have such a big spot on your nose?”

I still don’t know how I didn’t quit teaching at that moment, as 30 young children all began laughing out loud at me!

A few months later, my teacher training had begun. I was a young-looking 21 year old, barely 3 years older than my oldest students.

I was walking down the hallway, when two very mature looking senior girls began walking behind me. “He’s got a nice butt!” one said to the other, loudly enough for me to overhear.

I was mortified but my training hadn’t yet included how to deal with mocking teenagers, so I said nothing and walked faster up the hallway.

I didn’t dare turn around!

My silence gave the girls license to get really outrageous in what they said about me, as I raced silently towards the teacher’s lounge.

I remember to this day the visceral relief I felt as I slammed the door of the staff room behind me!

I’ve got dozens of awkward, embarrassing moments like this from my 15-year teaching career.

The problem is that when you read my resume, I can sound quite impressive, and you’d know nothing about my struggles… Teacher training at Oxford University. A Master’s Degree in Educational Effectiveness. Vice Principal. Senior Teacher. Dean of Studies. Taught in Africa, Asia and London. Helped to set up a new International School.

The Hidden Challenges of My Coaching Success

One of the problems with success is that successful people rarely share their painful, challenging moments.

I’m well known in the coaching world. I have an audience of over 60,000 people. My private clients invest over $100K/year. The members of my private Mastermind, 4PC, invest $29K/year. I have a book that’s recommended in almost every coach training. I have over a million views/downloads of my videos and podcasts.

But what most people don’t know about me is…

  • I was fired by one of my first clients for trying to berate them by email for missing their session. [I learned to never coach a client over email, to try to avoid a challenging conversation].
  • A client threatened to sue me if I didn’t give her a refund. [After that, I crafted a no-refund policy that I’ve had for over 17 years].
  • When I first raised my fees to $25K/year, it took 11 months of coaching before the first person said yes. [I learned that “Yes lives in the land of No!”]
  • When my dad died, I struggled to find the energy to enroll new clients for almost 9 months. [I learned the importance of having savings to sustain me through the difficult times].
  • I once had a really good year and got hit by a surprise $300K tax bill. [After I fired my accountant, I learned to only hire finance experts who work with people at a higher level of success than I’m currently at].
  • I was once so burned out that I needed months to recover and I went $100K into credit card debt. [I learned to train my team to keep me focused on my Zone of Genius, so that I don’t do things that drain me of energy].
  • I still recall the cold fear I felt at the start of lockdown, of knowing that 100 people had paid to come to my in-person Intensive but we wouldn’t be able to run it. [I learned that creativity is the answer to fear. We turned it into my first ever online Intensive and made more money than we’d ever made!]


The path to success is paved with failures but successful people rarely share their failures.

The Litvin boys are still on tour at Universal Studios in Florida!

Three Solutions to the Me vs Them Effect

There are three ways to deal with the Me vs Them Effect…

  1. Stop comparing your worst moments with everyone else’s highlight reel.
  2. Stop comparing how you feel with how others look.
  3. Stop doing what successful people are doing now and do what they did when they were where you are now.


As a coach, the biggest gift you can give your clients is to regularly share your doubts, fears and insecurities.

Introducing The $100K Club: Bridging the Gap

A couple of days ago, I launched The $100K Club. It’s a 6-month Master’s Degree in Client Creation. It’s my most exciting program yet. But it’s designed to challenge the heck out of you.

The $100K Club is designed to help you overcome the Me vs Them Effect by providing you with the tools and distinctions you need to be an elite coach – in your own unique way. 

I’ll also be sharing the biggest screw-ups I’ve made on my journey, to save you from making them.

Be prepared: I will be creating the space for you to have your own failures – because that’s one of the only ways we truly learn. If you’re not ready to make mistakes – and share them – this isn’t for you. (But neither is success!)

Be prepared: I’ll be challenging you to take action. In fact, you won’t be able to ask me questions on our live coaching calls unless you first tell me the steps you’ve taken that week to grow your coaching business. I’m not looking for wallflowers in this group. It’s supposed to feel uncomfortable.

Be prepared: I won’t be answering generic questions – like: “How do you get referrals?” or “How do you coach top performers?” (You’ll have access to a 10-hour video training for that). If you want my help, you’ll need to share real life experiences, so I can help you navigate them. 

My personal trainer taught me a powerful life lesson when she told me, Messy is sexy! When you join The $100K Club, you are going to get uncomfortable and you are going to get messy. This isn’t for everyone.

If you’re ready to take your coaching business to the next level and embrace the discomfort and messiness that comes with growth, The $100K Club is for you. Join now to navigate the path to success with greater ease and confidence.

Love. Rich



PS. Whenever you’re ready – here are 3 ways you can drastically increase your income and impact as a world-class coach… 

  1. Rich Litvin’s 1:1 Coaching Playbook: Learn my top 10 proven tools for coaching elite clients in this live training. Over 100 people joined me for our first live call – and all calls are recorded, so it’s not too late to join me…
  2. Rich Litvin’s Group Coaching Playbook: Make group coaching a lucrative and fun part of your business. Effortlessly fill and lead impactful group programs.
  3. The $100K Club: A six month Master’s Degree in High-Ticket Client Creation. The price increases as we get closer to the start date. Secure your spot now and start your journey to 6-figure coaching success today! 🚀

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