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February 28, 2023 • Rich Litvin

“I hate you!” – the 3 most important words in coaching…

Your clients need to say, “I hate you!” more often… 

You’re not there to be your clients’ friend. And you’re not there to be liked by your clients. They have their friends and you have yours. 

I often become friends with my clients but I never begin a coaching agreement with the hope or desire to become their friend. 

Your friends are inside your comfort zone but the life you desire is outside of your comfort zone. 

The problem with our friends is that they love us. So they want us to stay safe and there’s a massive problem with staying safe…

Almost everything meaningful you want is on the other side of an uncomfortable conversation or an action that scares you. 

Plus, for some of your friends, your risk-taking can reflect their own timidity. They unconsciously want you to avoid risks, so they can feel better about the risks that they’re NOT taking. 

If you want to live an extraordinary life, stop seeking guidance from friends and family. Surround yourself with a powerful coach, a learned mentor and a community of people playing a bigger game than you. 

A Powerful Coach polarizes, provokes and perturbs their clients

POLARIZE 

Stop trying to get people to like you. Your job is to polarize people. Not to upset them but to challenge their thinking. 

When you polarize people, you’ll turn them into 10s or 1s. The 10s will love you forever, the 1s will leave you forever.

If you’re not getting criticized regularly, you’re marketing to build your self-esteem. You’ll get ‘likes’ on social media. You just won’t get clients.

If you’re reading this you’re in my community of 10s but did you know that I get unsubscribes to EVERY SINGLE newsletter I write?

PROVOKE

Don’t be afraid to evoke strong emotions in your clients. 

Anger is a mask for desire and frustration is fuel for desire. Don’t be afraid of a client’s frustration or anger. They are often a sign that you’re getting to the heart of the matter. 

In a world where one of the hardest things for most people is to own what they really, really want, your job as a coach is to draw out your clients‘ true desires. 

PERTURB

Scientists use the word perturb to describe something that has affected a normal process. Perturbation is a sign that transformation is taking place. 

You’re in the transformation business. Don’t be afraid to unsettle your clients, to throw them off balance. 

“I hate you!”

If at least one client a day doesn’t say “I hate you!” (with a slight smile on their face) you’re not stretching them deep enough. 

If at least one person doesn’t unsubscribe from your email list every time you write to them, you’re not truly growing your community. 

Your clients need to say, “I hate you!” more often…

Love. Rich

 

PS. Dramatically increase your confidence as a coach by mastering enrolling clients. Drastically increase your ability to raise your fees and up-level your clients. And learn to have fun making money. Join me on The 90 Day Money Game. There’s still time to join us…

 

PLUS, whenever you’re ready – here are 4 more ways you can drastically increase your income and impact as a world-class coach:

  1. Assess your current coaching level and learn how to get to your next level. Read – or remind yourself of – The Litvin Levels, from The Prosperous Coach.
  2. Watch me coach some of the top coaches on the planet, in order to drastically uplevel your coaching skills. Join me on How To Coach A Superhero: The 4PC edition. 
  3. Imagine joining a Deep Coaching experience alongside the members of 4PC, my community of high-level coaches… We only offer The 4PC Accelerator once a year and it always sells out in advance. Save $1,000 with early-bird pricing. 
  4. Learn how to enroll and coach successful, talented and ambitious clients – with power and impact. Join my flagship program, Project Kairos – for 8 months of guidance, challenge and support to master creating clients. 

 

Transforming world-class leaders into world-class coaches.
That’s what we do.

If this sounds like you, let’s talk and explore if working together is a good fit.

Learn more about ways to work together

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