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“I hate you!” – the 3 most important words in coaching…

Your clients need to say, “I hate you!” more often… 

You’re not there to be your clients’ friend. And you’re not there to be liked by your clients. They have their friends and you have yours. 

I often become friends with my clients but I never begin a coaching agreement with the hope or desire to become their friend. 

Your friends are inside your comfort zone but the life you desire is outside of your comfort zone. 

The problem with our friends is that they love us. So they want us to stay safe and there’s a massive problem with staying safe…

Almost everything meaningful you want is on the other side of an uncomfortable conversation or an action that scares you. 

Plus, for some of your friends, your risk-taking can reflect their own timidity. They unconsciously want you to avoid risks, so they can feel better about the risks that they’re NOT taking. 

If you want to live an extraordinary life, stop seeking guidance from friends and family. Surround yourself with a powerful coach, a learned mentor and a community of people playing a bigger game than you. 

A Powerful Coach polarizes, provokes and perturbs their clients


Stop trying to get people to like you. Your job is to polarize people. Not to upset them but to challenge their thinking. 

When you polarize people, you’ll turn them into 10s or 1s. The 10s will love you forever, the 1s will leave you forever.

If you’re not getting criticized regularly, you’re marketing to build your self-esteem. You’ll get ‘likes’ on social media. You just won’t get clients.

If you’re reading this you’re in my community of 10s but did you know that I get unsubscribes to EVERY SINGLE newsletter I write?


Don’t be afraid to evoke strong emotions in your clients. 

Anger is a mask for desire and frustration is fuel for desire. Don’t be afraid of a client’s frustration or anger. They are often a sign that you’re getting to the heart of the matter. 

In a world where one of the hardest things for most people is to own what they really, really want, your job as a coach is to draw out your clients‘ true desires. 


Scientists use the word perturb to describe something that has affected a normal process. Perturbation is a sign that transformation is taking place. 

You’re in the transformation business. Don’t be afraid to unsettle your clients, to throw them off balance. 

“I hate you!”

If at least one client a day doesn’t say “I hate you!” (with a slight smile on their face) you’re not stretching them deep enough. 

If at least one person doesn’t unsubscribe from your email list every time you write to them, you’re not truly growing your community. 

Your clients need to say, “I hate you!” more often…

Love. Rich


PS. Project Kairos just began but it’s not too late to join me. You’ll get the recordings of the calls you miss. Master Creating Clients in the last Project Kairos I will ever run. Sign up now, and you still get a gift ticket to my upcoming program: $100K Clients


PLUS, here are 4 more ways you can drastically increase your impact and your income:

  1. Join my 2 new short programs, $100K Clients and One Milllllion Dollars! There’s a button at the bottom of either page that allows you to join both programs and save almost $300…
  2. Get my support as a Thinking Partner. This is for one successful entrepreneur or coach who wants to have their thinking provoked and to be challenged – on everything!
  3. Become my Protégé. This is for a single coach who wants my mentoring to help them transform every element of their coaching business – mastering The Prosperous Coach Approach, writing books, scaling your business, building a team, or becoming known as a Thought Leader…
  4. Want to work with me but not sure where to start? Check out our coaching journey and pick the program that suits you best. 



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