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A Client Says I’d Love To Work With You… And Then You Never Hear From Them

Daniel recently asked: What do you do if someone says Yes, then goes away and speaks with their partner who then changes their mind?

You know that feeling, right?

I mean they were a Hell Yeah client. They knew it and you knew it. They said they’d put the check in the mail. It was just a formality. Their first coaching call was already on your calendar.

And then it all went quiet.

Like the scene in an old Western when the tumbleweed blows across the set.



They said Hell Yes. And now they’re not even replying to your emails.

What happened?

Well, first let’s give some context:


Since 90% of coaches never earn more than $20,000 a year, creating high-performing clients for high-powered coaching is unfamiliar to most coaches.

Most people writing online about how to ‘get’ clients are experts in marketing or selling products or programs. They’ll talk to you about the power of urgency or the importance of amplifying your client’s pain or the need to offer 30 minute taster sessions but no more.

And they miss the tiny but essential distinctions that make up the world of ‘Creating Clients’.

There’s something unique about ‘selling the invisible’. And there are four stages to creating high-performing clients that are easy to miss if you don’t know where to look.

SALE #1. The first sale begins with YOU.

Are YOU sold on you? Do you really believe in the power of coaching? Have you experienced powerful coaching? Have you invested in a powerful coach yourself? Have you invested more money than you feel comfortable to spend? Have you seen and felt others EXPERIENCE the impact of your coaching?

If you don’t yet believe in the power of coaching enough to invest in your own coach–why would a client ever invest in working with you? And if you don’t yet have a track record of clients with transformational stories about your work together you’re probably not yet ready to serve powerfully enough to enroll your own high-performing clients. Invest in your own coach and begin to build up a track record of coaching. It’s a stage I call “Coach Your Ass Off”.

SALE #2 begins before your first conversation.

The second sale is helping a potential client to decide to say yes to even having a powerful conversation with you.

Let’s be honest, time is precious. And in an ‘always on’ hyper-connected world, people have constant demands on their time, energy and attention.

WHY should they say yes to even having a conversation with you?

How do you stand out amidst the ‘noise’? Especially online.

Offering a ‘free session’ cheapens what you do and has people likely to say no. Offering a ’30 minute taster session’ is never going to allow a client to experience the full power of your coaching.

When was the last time you heard a lawyer or heart surgeon offer a free session? I’m doing 25 minute taster heart surgery sessions this month. Email me for a free session.

Don’t be a coach. Be a heart surgeon.

Offer the person in front of you an opportunity for something extraordinary. A life-changing conversation.

But not an offer on your website our your Facebook page. What coach isn’t offering ‘free sessions’ these days?

I mean create a reason so personal to the person in front of you that they simply can’t say no.

SALE #3 occurs when you make a powerful proposal.

You know the feeling. It’s the end of one of an incredible coaching session. You’ve helped your potential client see things they couldn’t see. You’ve said things to them no one else would dare to say.

And you can see it in their eyes, you can hear it in their voice…

They’ve had a life-changing insight. Their world has been rocked. They want more.

Or maybe they don’t even know they want more. But YOU can sense it. And you’re willing to get vulnerable. You’re willing to take a risk.

So you invite them to coach with you. You make them a powerful proposal.

That’s the moment most coaches are terrified of. And if they even get this far, they are so relieved to have made a proposal out loud that they think their mission is over.

They don’t even know about The Fourth Sale…

SALE #4 occurs AFTER a client has said YES.

At this moment most coaches are jumping in the air saying Yippeeeeeee… I have a new client!

But a great coach doesn’t do that because they understand that their client is going to walk out of their office or leave their call and then speak to someone they love and trust.

Here’s how the conversation will go:

Client: OMG. I just got coached. It was amazing. I’m going to hire my own coach.

Client’s husband: Uh, huh. What’s a coach?

Client: Well, he’s a person I’m going to talk to every week.

Client’s husband: What for?

Client: He’ll help me to make my dreams come true.

Client’s husband: Really?

Client: Yep. [A little defensive]

Client’s husband: How’s he gonna do that?

Client: Errr… By talking to me.

Client’s husband: Uh huh. How much does he charge for talking to you?

Client: $5,000.

Client’s husband: FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS! For ‘talking’ to you? Are you serious? I’ll talk to you about your dreams. And I’ll buy you all of Tony Robbins cds and we’ll still have enough left over for a holiday and a new flatscreen tv.

Client: I never thought about it like that…


Coach: [EMAIL] Hey, you said you were ready to start coaching but you haven’t sent your payment yet…

Client: SILENCE [sound of new flatscreen tv in background]


Here’s a powerful new approach.

Preempt this conversation.


When they say, I’m in, say, Hang on. Let’s slow things down for a moment.

Are you sure?

Let’s take a minute or two.

Let’s be certain you’re not rushing things.

Is there anyone you’d need to check in with first before you can really call this a ‘HELL YES’?

How about your husband? How about your business partner? How about your Board of Directors?

YOU might be FEELING like a Hell Yes, right now.

But they haven’t been in this conversation.

What would THEY need to know to support your Hell Yes?

Do they even know what coaching is? Have they ever experienced really deep, powerful coaching?

Plus, the MOST IMPORTANT thing I want you to understand—and I want you to let anyone know that you talk to about this—is that you do NOT ‘need’ coaching.

And you DO NOT ‘need’ ME as your coach.

I believe in you.

You have the ability to create EVERYTHING you want to create—WITHOUT me and WITHOUT coaching.

Now, if you ‘want’ coaching, that’s different. I’m here for you. But you don’t ‘need’ me.

[It’s important for me to emphasize that this isn’t some kind of ‘script’. These are my words. You’ll need to find your own in order to be authentic.

And if you don’t believe deeply in the person in front of you then don’t say you do–either keep digging deeper to find the ‘Glimpse of Genius’ or call them a Hell No and move on.]


Back to the original question: “What do you do if someone says Yes, then goes away and speaks with their partner who then changes their mind?”

No one’s partner can ever change their mind. If they change their mind after speaking to someone else I use that as a reminder to myself that I didn’t serve them powerfully enough.

That may not be ‘the truth’ but it sure helps me to up MY game.

And I make sure that my next coaching session with a potential client is even more life changing.


Love. Rich

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