You see, I know that everyone has a secret.
I coached a former Special Forces operative who was secretly afraid of selling coaching. He now has $100,000 clients.
I coached a millionaire who was secretly afraid that one day her money would completely run out and she’d have to live on the streets. She no longer has those fears.
I coached the founder of a multi-million dollar company, who could do high-level complex negotiations, but was still single in his 50s because he was secretly afraid of being controlled by a woman. He’s now happily married.
I coached a man who took care of wild animals for a living but was so scared to ask for money for his non-profit that he lived in a trailer and only ever asked for tiny donations. He now regularly asks for – and receives – donations in the millions of dollars.
I coached a woman who was a former US Navy pilot, who had flown in combat, but she was secretly afraid of coaching top performers. She now coaches at Fortune 500 companies.
I helped every one of these clients in the very same way.
I found out their secret fear.
And then I helped them take tiny steps towards it.
I built their confidence. And then everything changed…
On a regular basis, I coach people who are far more accomplished, successful, wealthy, famous or intelligent than me. I have coached MMA fighters, CEOs of billion dollar corporations, world-champion martial artists, Olympic gold medal winners, women who’ve single handedly raised a family of 5 incredible kids, ultra-marathoners, people with PhDs from the top universities in the world.
I’ve coached these world-class individuals, despite never doing any of these things myself.
But I didn’t need to because I know a secret… Everyone has one area of their life where they lack confidence.
A fear checklist
Here are 9 of the most common life areas where people lack confidence. You can use this as a checklist when coaching. Try it for yourself, first. Which is strongest for you?
- Is it your career? Do you secretly doubt your abilities or qualifications in your current career?
- Is it your intelligence? Do you secretly fear you aren’t smart enough, or as knowledgeable as your peers?
- Is it your relationship? Do you ever secretly doubt your worthiness of love or have a deep fear of rejection?
- Is it social anxiety? Are you secretly afraid of others’ judgments, of rejection, or simply not knowing what to say?
- Is it money? Does financial insecurity secretly cause you stress and doubt, or is it hard to ask for the fees you deserve?
- Is it about sex and intimacy? Do you secretly feel insecure about your body, your performance, or your sexual desires?
- Is it your physical appearance? Do you ever secretly feel insecure about your looks, or have a lack of confidence in your physical self?
- Is it your health and fitness? Do you secretly feel self-conscious in the gym, or do you let your fears prevent you from eating healthily or working out?
- Is it your artistic ability? Do you ever let your secret fears of criticism or judgment hold you back from bringing out your full creativity?
9 Core fears
Here are 9 of the most common core fears. Sometimes they’re hidden deeply but every client has one of them. Which one feels strongest for you?
- Do you have a secret fear that you are bad, or defective?
- Do you have a secret fear that you are inherently unworthy of being loved?
- Do you have a secret fear that without your successes, you will no longer be valuable or worthy of attention?
- Do you secretly dread the idea of having no unique identity or personal impact?
- Are you secretly afraid that you may be useless, incapable, or incompetent?
- Are you deeply afraid of being unable to survive on your own?
- Do you fear getting stuck in a rut and missing out on exciting experiences?
- Do you hate the idea of being controlled by others?
- Do you have a secret fear of conflict, tension, or arguments?
You’ll become highly successful as a coach when you have the ability to draw out your clients’ fears.
You’ll turn your clients into raving fans when you help them build confidence where they once had fear.
Join me on ACBC: Advanced Confidence Building for Coaches, to build unshakeable and lasting confidence. Plus, learn to coach high-performers to conquer their confidence issues and boost their performance.
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