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What are you optimizing for?

Too many people live a life of quiet regret. They feel like they spent their life chasing other people’s goals, instead of what they actually want.

Bronnie Ware is a palliative care nurse who wrote the book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Those regrets are: 

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

My experience of a decade and a half of coaching is that most people are actually extremely good at succeeding at what they want—but we’re rarely honest about what we want. Each of the regrets of the dying is a function of setting the wrong metrics or optimizing for the wrong factors. 

It’s only on our deathbed that we finally discover we wanted to live a life true to ourselves. Instead, we optimized for other people’s measures of success—eg. our parents’ dreams or social norms—instead of our own. We made poor life decisions  because we optimized for the wrong metric, years before. Or our subconscious chose for us because we were not paying attention.

When you are not conscious about what you are optimizing for, you risk optimizing for the wrong things and that will take you further and further away from the life you really want. 

I’ve coached several senior executives in Hollywood who are very wealthy but very frustrated and highly unfulfilled. They went into the movie business because they were so creative. But they spent their career optimizing for money, not creativity. I’ve coached many leaders who went into corporate life with a deep desire to make a difference but who optimized for status instead. And I regularly see exhausted coaches and artists and marketers who optimize for likes or followers on social media, instead of mastery of their craft or deep connection. 

You are optimizing for something right now. What are you optimizing for?

  • image
  • likes
  • followers
  • list size
  • convenience
  • speed
  • cheapest
  • biggest
  • best
  • money
  • efficiency
  • ease
  • speed
  • impact
  • client experience
  • your experience
  • ego
  • revenue
  • profit
  • freedom
  • your values
  • your parents’ values/dreams
  • quality 
  • supporting others
  • adventure
  • learning
  • family
  • health
  • losing weight
  • time
  • creativity
  • saving
  • giving

You can’t optimize for everything simultaneously. 

And you won’t accomplish what you really want until you decide what to optimize for—and then you compromise, or minimize, everywhere else.

There’s nothing wrong with anything you want to achieve. It’s just important that you are honest about what you want. In the words of Derek Sivers, “If you want to make a lot of money, you need to admit that. If you want to be famous, you need to pursue that. If you want freedom and no responsibilities, or want to learn as much as possible, or whatever else, you need to realize it and embrace it.”

You will feel deeply unfulfilled, sad, frustrated and even angry if you live a life and build a business optimizing for metrics that are other people’s measures of success.

When you know what you are optimizing for, life becomes simple. Every other goal becomes secondary and you focus only on what matters most to you.

Tell me: What are you optimizing for?

Love. Rich 


PS. I ran an “Ask Me Anything” session where I discussed 5 things: (1) How to enroll high performing, high fee clients. (2) How to coach highly successful people. (3) The game that will take your coaching practice to the next level. (4) The tool that will have dream clients wanting to speak with you. (5) The power of a 20 minute chat and a 90 minute coaching conversation—and the right time and the wrong time to use each of them. Click on the image below to watch the instant replay. 



PLUS… Whenever you’re ready… here are 4 ways we can help you build the confidence, skills and the powerful language you need to enroll high-performing, high-fee clients.

  1. Read my Playbook for Coaching in Challenging Times – Leadership is hard but you can do hard. My playbook will give you 10 distinctions to support you and your clients, whenever times are uncertain, challenging or even scary. 
  2. Transition Excellence – 100 days of self-paced learning and group teaching/coaching with me. You will be a pioneer in our first ever cohort. 15 spots left.
  3. Project Kairos – 9 months of live teaching and coaching from me—from January 2021 to September 2021. Deep Coaching on Zoom, month after month. A complete immersion into high-level coaching and client creation. Plus, you get a complimentary $1,500 ticket to the Rich Litvin Intensive in April 2021.  
  4. The 4PC Accelerator – Accelerate your progress by 20 Years in 9 Days. I’ll be training you to step up—and out—as a thought leader. Be warned, this is a high pressure environment—where we will challenge you and stretch your thinking, so you can challenge you and stretch your clients. Plus, you’ll learn how to develop your own community of top performers and become known as the expert in your field. Only 14 spots left. 


PS. Set yourself up for dramatic success in 2022, by joining me on the Deep Dive. One spot left. Buckle up… You'll be joining a small group of coaches who include: a former advisor to the United Nations, a former Navy seal, a former Vice President at the Walt Disney Company, a coach to leaders at the BBC, a coach to leaders at Fortune 500 companies, a trusted advisor to Family Offices and a former investment banker who managed billions of dollars of assets.

Plus, whenever you’re ready… here are 3 ways we can help you grow an extraordinary coaching business—one conversation at a time:

  1. Take your coaching and your client creation to the next level with Master the Prosperous Coach Approach and Master Deep Coaching 6 weeks of live experiences with me. We are three sessions in. It’s not too late to join us.
  2. Join Transition Excellence, my 100 day, self-paced training on client creation. Plus, you get weekly live group calls with me and my leadership team—and you join our private Facebook group to access our incredible community. TE is ICF accredited.
  3. Join Project Kairos—for 11 months of Client Creation, led personally by me. 2022 Is the last year I will ever run this program. Plus, you receive a complimentary ticket to the next Intensive. [Every Project Kairos has sold out and there are now 20 spots left for PK6].
Transforming world-class leaders into world-class coaches.
That’s what we do.

If this sounds like you, let’s talk and explore if working together is a good fit.

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