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April 6, 2020
Rich Litvin

Recurring problems vs real problems

Last Friday, I was feeling a sense of overwhelm. I had so much to do that I was about to tell Monique I couldn’t spend time with her and the kids, on the weekend.

And then it hit me…

I always feel like there’s so much to do…

Feeling like I have a lot to do wasn’t a “real” problem, it was a recurring problem.

I have just launched 100 Days of Coaching. On our first call, I asked 20 coaches and leaders: What’s the biggest challenge you have right now?

On the chat in Zoom, they each posted their unique challenges.

Then I asked them: Is this a real problem? Or does it ‘seem’ like a real problem but you’ve been dealing with this for most of your life?

In the chat, one after another, the answers popped up:

Recurring problem!
Recurring problem!
Recurring problem!
Recurring problem!
Recurring problem!
Recurring problem!

Recurring problems ‘seem’ real. Their impact can be just as profound. But the only way to handle a real problem is to go to the deeper underlying cause. It’s why I hired a new coach last week. Even I can’t do this for myself…

QUESTION: What challenge are you facing right now, that appears ‘real’ – but you’ve actually been dealing with for most of your life?

The only 3 questions you need, right now…

There are only three questions I ask people on my coaching calls, at this moment in time. It doesn’t matter if they’re a long-term client or someone I’ve never spoken to before.

What’s on your mind?
What’s your biggest challenge?
Would you like some help with that?

1. What’s on your mind?

I ask this question and then I go quiet. I let them speak. I let them tell me everything they’re going through, their thoughts, their feelings, their fears…

People are feeling a lot right now and most have no one to talk to about this. Others are energized by a crisis, they’re full of ideas but have no one to talk to about this.

Just listen. Say nothing.

When they’re complete, ask them…

2. What’s your biggest challenge?

At this moment, no one hesitates, no one is vague. Everyone cuts straight to the chase and has a direct answer to this question.

Just listen. Say nothing.

When they’re complete, ask them…

3. Would you like some help with that?

And now you’re in a coaching conversation

QUESTION: What’s your biggest challenge, right now?

Love. Rich

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