If you want more clients, you need to tell better stories. And the toughest story you will ever tell is your own…
Leaders tell stories. And stories change the world.
Stories enable us to imagine things, not alone, but together.
Humans have created medicines that saved billions of lives, travelled as far as the moon, invented the printing press, the internet and the computer, mapped the human genome, created the UN Declaration of Human Rights, and built the Pyramids, the Taj Mahal and the Eiffel Tower.
We’d have none of these without storytelling.
Stories give us the ability to cooperate in large numbers, not just with friends but also with strangers.
The toughest story you will ever tell is your own
If you want to be a successful leader you need to master storytelling.
And the toughest story you will ever tell is your own.
I’ve spent twenty years learning how to powerfully speak people into a room.
It’s the most profound leadership skill I’ve ever learned or taught.
As so often in life, my gift comes from my pain. I am gifted at speaking people into a room because I spent so much of my life lacking confidence and feeling less than.
It’s because I spent such a long time feeling powerless, that I see where you are powerful when you cannot. For the same reason, I see where you lack power when you appear powerful to others.
I say that I coach kings. But what people often miss is that first I create kings.
I look for the spark of genius in every person in front of me.
I don’t pay attention to the story people are trying to sell me. I pay attention to who is truly there.
Today, I’m going to model that for you thirty times…
You see I’ve spent the past few weeks researching each and every member of The Kaleo Project—a group of 31 Black and African American leaders and coaches.
I have been like Sherlock Holmes, scouring their websites, their Facebook pages and their LinkedIn profiles.
I won’t lie. It’s been hard!
All of my clients these days are highly accomplished people who tend to forget an important premise…
It’s not bragging if you’ve done it.
I have drawn out each of their stories in a way that has me say, wow!
Only when I can see—and feel—a wow moment, do I know a story is ready to tell.
There are 3 mysteries in the universe
I’ve worked with coaches who have made millions of dollars in sales, in a previous career… I have worked with consultants who have done the marketing for billion dollar corporations… I have worked with fundraisers who have raised hundreds of millions for great causes… And the one thing they had in common when I first met them?
They couldn’t sell themselves.
Because they couldn’t tell their own story.
There are 3 mysteries in the universe…
Birds to the air.
Fishes to water.
And humans to themselves.
Let me help you to see yourself…
There are 2 ways to tell a great story—about yourself
- The golden thread – Look for the golden thread in your story. The plot line that stretches as far back as you can remember. Here are 5 questions to help you draw it out:
a. What did you love to do when you were 6 years old?
b. What did you study at university?
c. What did you research for your master’s thesis?
d. What have you struggled with your whole life?
e. Then look for how your answer to one or all of the above questions is directly related to your gift and your expertise, to this day?
When people can see that what you do is something you’ve been doing your entire life, they will say “Wow!” When you can say to someone, “I’ve been doing this my entire career…” it stops them in their tracks. And they will want to know more.
2. Your headlines – We don’t like to brag, so we tend to dismiss our own accomplishments, while focusing on others successes.
When I tell someone’s story, I draw out their successes. I look for things that have me say “Wow!” One of my clients has been a consultant at The Grantsmanship Center—the lead source of grant-related training and information in the world—for the past 13 years. That had me say, “Wow!”
But she was surprised that I mentioned it, as she rarely talks about it to anyone because she’s been doing it for so long. You see, we don’t notice our own accomplishments.
Here are 5 ways to draw out your headlines:
a. Look through your CV, your resume and the “experience” and “education” sections on your LinkedIn page. Make a list of all the jobs you’ve had and all the things you’ve done.
b. Make a list of things you’ve achieved in your career—where there was a tangible or measurable result. Eg. generating revenue, increasing the profit of a business, team building or making a specific difference to the lives of clients or customers.
c. Make a list of specific acknowledgements you’ve received from former bosses, direct reports, peers, mentors, or your board of directors.
d. Make a list of things you’ve achieved in your life that you are proud of. Eg raising kids, recovering from a life-threatening illness or getting a doctorate, leaving a relationship or job.
e. Make a list of personal and professional setbacks you’ve recovered from.
Show these lists to someone you trust—this will take courage—and ask them what stands out or impresses them. Now you have your headlines.
31 Golden Threads
As you read each and every one of the following stories, look for ways to tell your story. Notice the themes you see over and over, as you read them. You will hear your story in their stories…
What most people know about Varian is that she spent almost 25 years as a corporate sales leader for a Fortune 25 company, managing multi-million dollar clients. What most people don’t know about Varian is that she was a single teenage mom who refused to be a statistic. She made a decision to be successful in order to support her young son and she never wavered in her belief in him or the success she would become.
I first met Varian, 8 years ago, before she’d left her corporate job. Four years later, she entered the world of coaching and she slowly built an incredible community of her own, by word of mouth alone. Varian is an ambassador for The Prosperous Coach approach because her clients are exclusively by invitation and referral. She has the smallest online footprint I have ever seen, and her annual event sells out a year in advance. It’s why she is on my faculty for both 4PC and Transition Excellence.
Angela is the founder of The Global Legacy Institute. Angela Tennison gave up her job in 2008, to support an unknown man on a mission. Everyone told her she was crazy. Turns out he was Barack Obama. And Angela honed her leadership skills at the highest level – in The White House. She spent 7 years serving in the Obama administration. She was the first African-American woman to serve as White House Usher. Her role in the White House Executive Residence was managing staff, logistics, and operations for the 44th President and First Family. Angela concluded her political appointment as the first and only Leadership Development Director at the US Department of Education.
Angela is an expert in helping leaders and organizations navigate crucial conversations on racial equity and creating opportunities for people of color in the workplace.
For most of his life, Niiamah thought he was an outsider. He was one of the only students of color in his gifted class. One of the only students in his high school to be accepted into an Ivy League University. One of the only graduates to pursue a career as an actuary. One of the only black actuaries in his field. And one of the only Black employees in his tech company.
For much of life and career, he felt like an outsider, aching to fit in. But he was actually an outlier. And a pioneer. He thought differently. He was meant to stand out. And because he spent much of his life trying to fit into the box, he’s uniquely gifted at helping others to break out of theirs. Niiamah is an expert at supporting unorthodox, independent-minded leaders, who break the rules to get things done.
Many powerful and highly intelligent women don’t recognise just how powerful and intelligent they are. They often can’t see themselves the way others do. That’s where Cordelia comes in. She is an expert in helping powerful women see how powerful they truly are—no matter how powerless they may feel. She’s a trusted advisor to women leaders. She helps women face their fears, their feelings and their insecurities, to live a life of courage.
What most people know about Cordelia is that she spent a decade as a corporate accountant. She has worked for a law firm, a boutique CPA firm and she was the controller for an IT start-up. She has been a Business Development Manager. She’s a best-selling author and an award-winning speaker. She’s also the mother of 6 (yes six) children! And she homeschooled them all, while building her business and acting as an advisory board member for an organization that supports survivors, thrivers, and conquerors of domestic violence.
What most people know about Diamond is that her background in identity and organizational behavior research underpins powerful consulting initiatives and real results, such as saving one of her clients $150,000 a year. She founded a company that connected women of color and allies, focused on closing the global leadership and equity gap. And she is the Principal, Human Resources at a global alternative investment firm, with $59 billion in assets under management, where she oversees training, performance management, learning and leadership development.
Her work has been featured in The Jam TV, TEDx, SHRM, Teen Vogue, Global Shapers, New Leaders Council, and Chicago Woman Magazine. She’s created powerful experiences for women of color. She’s grown a membership organization, by word of mouth, alone. She’s built a real estate investment portfolio, and pitched a product that moved a room full of investors to a standing ovation.
Diamond is a deeply curious soul who invests fiercely in mastery and helps others do the same.
Lorlett is an expert in helping African Caribbean senior professionals excel at delivering exceptional results. Over 20 years ago, she founded her company—a multi-award winning Leadership Development enterprise—to provide personal development training for African Caribbean people in the UK. With 20 years of study and application behind them, they have an exceptional reputation for supporting exceptional leaders.
Lorlett is the inventor of the multi-award winning card deck, “Things Mama Used To Say”—a box set of Jamaican/Caribbean proverbs—that is used to facilitate change management, build inclusive leadership, and develop humility. She is also the creator of the annual “Common Ties” event, that for over 12 years has brought hundreds of people together to share lived experiences and celebrate African Caribbean cultural pride and resilience.
Tonia is a high-level corporate executive and business analyst. She spent almost ten years working at a leading healthcare information technology company before leaving the corporate world to work as a Trusted Advisor to successful women like her—high-achieving women who want to finally follow their passion.
What most people don’t know is that Tonia was diagnosed with ADD as a child. Back then it was a bug. As an entrepreneur it is a feature. She wants it all and has the capacity to juggle everything needed to make it happen. Tonia is an expert at supporting over-achievers and people pleasers who are exhausted with trying to figure out how to move forward with authority and purpose.
She’s worked at Fortune 500 companies and been fired. She’s purchased a home and lost a home. She has been to jail and fought the painful life label of being convicted at a young age. She’s a single mother who raised one adult and is now raising a child. She has survived and thrived on the other side of painfully toxic relationships, by finding love on the inside and tenacity on the outside. She is a community advocate for equal rights and fair prison sentencing. She’s passionate about helping women not to be “boxed in” by old labels, and she’s using two decades of success and struggle to help women like her.
Tonia is passionate about helping women not to be boxed in by old labels and she’s using two decades of success and struggle to help women like her.
Martha is a partner at a Human Capital Management Consulting, based in Nairobi, Kenya. Her primary focus is to support leaders and entrepreneurs who are solving the most pressing social and economic challenges in East Africa. She pushes leaders to think differently.
An expert in talent management, Martha has helped leaders build high-performing teams and healthy organizations for over a decade. She is an innovator in her bones and is known for her spontaneity and non-stop questioning.
She’s worked at Fortune 500 firms, mid-sized companies, and non-profits. A true multi-cultural leader, she has worked and lived in India, Tanzania, and Kenya—with colleagues from over 30 countries. At the heart of everything she does, Martha unleashes people’s true potential to live their best lives. She is a renaissance woman who loves to box as well as practice yoga, meditate as well as read, and create art as well as inspire high-level leaders.
What most people miss about business is that it’s only complex when you fail to see the overlapping systems behind it. Kevin is a tech expert by training, with an MSc in Information Systems. He has spent almost 15 years as a business analyst—the last five at one of the leading suppliers of energy products and services across the United States.
You see, Kevin understands systems. He is an expert on leadership, management and decision-making. He uses these skills in advising leaders and organizations. And he works with a handful of private clients who are seeking deeper fulfillment in their life and career. You can design a complex organization that succeeds at the highest level. You can also design a life of purpose and impact. And that’s why people call Kevin.
Gina has 25 years of sales leadership experience. She’s been responsible for sales in the field of healthcare across the entire eastern half of the United States. And she’s managed teams and sales regions generating $18M – $131M.
She is known for her presence. She doesn’t hesitate to take control of a situation and make decisions. She’s exceptionally talented at making sure that people don’t feel left out. She’s an incredible sounding board for leaders. She’s driven to work hard and possesses a huge amount of stamina. A driving question in her life is “When can we start?”
People with a big vision ahead of them and a bias for action, often need someone just like themselves in their corner. Those are the people who call Gina.
René spent almost 30 years as a successful corporate executive, at a leading healthcare benefits organization, where she ran their management and soft skills training programs. She was a coach for leading executives and professional associates.
And with 30 years of training leaders behind her, René can tell you that the soft skills of leadership are some of the toughest skills you’ll ever learn. She is known as an expert at empowering women at a midlife ‘What About Me?’ stage to successfully navigate their next major life transition. And she is co-founder of a leadership training company that helps executives break through any ceilings in their career.
Most people know Kevin (KD to his friends) as a Linkedin Top Sales Voice. He’s an InsideSales Top 10 Sales Leader and a VP of Sales, with over ten years of high-level sales experience behind him.
Kevin is acknowledged as a leader with vision, empathy and compassion—qualities rarely found in true leadership. He’s also a mentor to early stage founders, on how to scale their sales, for a venture capital firm that aims to discover and back the world’s most talented entrepreneurs.
Kendra is an author, a model and a podcast host. She’s an expert in re-creating your life and lifestyle once you hit midlife. Women in their 40s and beyond seek Kendra out for guidance and support.
Pivotal moments in her life have included losing her mother (her very best friend), surviving and then thriving through cancer, raising teenage boys, and navigating both marriage and entrepreneurship. She’s not afraid to challenge or provoke—and that’s why her people love her.
Dr Nancy is a renowned speaker and leader on Equity in the school system and the workplace. She has over 20 years in the education field as a child care worker, a teacher, and a professor.
She has provided professional development to school districts and educational agencies throughout the United States.
She is the co-founder of Epoch Education, a company focused on educating the multicultural leaders of the world, for today and tomorrow. They create diversity, equity and inclusion training for schools, organizations, leaders and non-profits.
Theresa Campbell has over 15 years worth of business development experience. She has led multi-million dollar sales and marketing initiatives with one of the leading organizations in the Fortune 500.
She’s sold billions of dollars’ worth of inventory, developed and implemented statewide multicultural marketing initiatives, conducted performance consulting to businesses across the country and helped develop corporate-wide initiatives.
Theresa is the founder and CEO of Her Life, Her Legacy—a leadership development organization dedicated to the power of deep listening.
Charmain is the Toronto-based co-founder and Director of the Black Opportunity Fund—a partnership of business leaders, philanthropists and foundations building social capital and financial capital for Canada’s Black community.
Charmain has been an expert in marketing and communications for 20 years. In 2003, she founded a national, boutique public relations agency, with a team of specialists who could handle anything from luxury brands to contentious public policy issues. And she’s been helping leaders craft their message ever since.
Based in Lagos, Nigeria, Wuraola is the founder of the Sisters in Business Leadership Network, with the mission to educate and empower Muslim women in business. They help women develop their leadership skills, to grow their cottage enterprises to profitability and sustainability.
Wuraola is an expert in creative writing. In a world of content-driven copy, she writes in a human, authentic and empathic way that’s sprinkled with humor. She has a background in consulting and business development and she’s been an entrepreneur for 20 years.
She tolerated a seventeen year marriage before her husband walked out, leaving her and their three daughters on their own. She is now passionate about living life deliberately and has become an expert at helping women make excellent decisions, to move from fear and self-doubt to courage and clarity.
Makeda spent 12 years helping to start, build and grow a successful organization. And then, one day, she walked away from it all. She left her career, her community and everything that once defined her and her life. Does that sound familiar? Is that something you’d secretly love to do?
On the surface her life looked good but deep down her soul was slowly dying. She was profoundly unhappy but she felt guilty because she “should” have been happy—as she was making good money, had good friends, and a high level of influence at work. But she was so busy being who everyone else needed her to be that she had no idea who she was or how she wanted to be in the world.
Makeda is now profoundly happy, doing what she loves. She’s a coach and a guide to others who want a career and a life where their soul can finally feel free.
Che’ is an expert at the systems entrepreneurs use to operate businesses. As an Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) Implementer, he helps business leaders build healthy, high-performing teams.
In fact, Che’ has been obsessed by the difference between teams that win and those that don’t—in business and on the field—his entire life. It was as a professional football player that he first learned the value of teamwork and the impact of great coaching.
He combined his obsession with teamwork and entrepreneurship and launched a tournament business that grew to over 600 teams and 25,000. He has a Master’s degree in Organizational Leadership and for the past ten years, he’s been a Director of Operations, responsible for leading and managing over 60 employees and a business with tens of thousands of customers.
Daniel is a man of few words but big impact. He’s a quiet man of big stature. He’s 6’ 5”. And he’s a Police Officer who is a man of faith.
When I asked him how he went from a white belt to a blue belt, in Jiu Jitsu, in just 18 months, he shared with me his philosophy for life. Don’t train to reach a particular level. Do what you love. Show up often. Set a single intention—improve on your last practice.
Most people believe that life is happening to them and they have to go along with it. The truth is that we create our reality. And, as a coach, Daniel teaches leaders how to create their world—with their words and their thoughts.
I first met Dan in Liberia, at the start of the largest and most complex Ebola outbreak since the virus was first discovered. The fatality rate for ebola, where he lived, ranged from 50% to 90%. But he not only thrived through that crisis, he helped others to thrive, too. You see, Dan is an expert on courage in the face of massive uncertainty. He’s an expert on leadership. He helps great leaders master the single most important leadership skill—execution.
Dan is a trusted advisor to entrepreneurs and executives. He founded, grew and exited 7 businesses. He runs a high-level international coaching and consulting practice. He’s helped leaders in policy planning and implementation, business analysis, strategic planning, and marketing. He’s also the author of: 5G, AI & The Future of Business in Africa.
What most people don’t know about Dan is that in 2003 he fled the civil war in Liberia and came to the United States. Four years later, he was deported with only $200 to his name. But that $200 helped launch Dan on a mission to positively impact thousands through his work and business ventures. Dan is a trusted advisor to entrepreneurs and executives. He founded, grew and exited 7 businesses. He runs a high-level international coaching and consulting practice. He’s helped leaders in policy planning and implementation, business analysis, strategic planning, and marketing. He’s also the author of: 5G, AI & The Future of Business in Africa.
If you want to take your leadership and results to the next level, you should have a conversation with Dan.
Rosemary is an award-winning radio and TV producer and presenter, in the UK. She was the first female day time presenter on Jazz FM, in London. She’s interviewed towns of people in her career, including Spike Lee, Courtney Pine, Olympic champions and many well-known names from film and TV.
Have you ever felt crushed by the fear of the unknown? It’s one of the most common feelings when you’re considering, or going through, divorce.
And that’s where J comes in. You see, he has over 25 years as an attorney behind him—from legal counsel to women experiencing domestic violence, to family law, legal research, compliance review and business development.
The founder of Divorce and Custody Success System, J helps solve the single biggest challenge you face, when going through divorce: a sense of complete emotional overwhelm at the complexity of the financial and legal situation you are now facing. His number one mission is to help his clients leave with the sense of control and comfort that comes from knowing their options.
Imagine one day—out of nowhere—you get a diagnosis that’s a death sentence. Imagine that diagnosis says that you are HIV positive and your world comes to a screeching halt…
Imagine, for a moment, that this is over twenty years ago when having HIV not only meant you’d likely die, it brought an unimaginable level of shame and strain to you, your family and your church…
Frantonia M Pollins PhD., was a leader in her field and her community when she was told that she was HIV positive. The shame, the guilt, the confusion were overwhelming. She terminated a pregnancy, considered suicide and was wracked with guilt and pain.
And then, four months after this diagnosis, at a moment when she was considering taking her own life, the doctors called to say that they’d made a terrible mistake. They had mixed up her results. She’d been negative all along…
Frantonia tells the story of how she flipped in that moment from contemplating suicide to contemplating homicide. She says everyone laughs when they hear that phrase but the overwhelm of the experience meant that it wasn’t far from the truth.
She made a decision, from that moment onwards, to study why we live in a culture that teaches boys that the pursuit of sex is an example of their leadership and power, while simultaneously teaching girls that to express their sexuality depletes and diminishes their ability to lead and be powerful, has them feel less than, or labels them as a ‘slut‘ or a ‘whore.‘
She asked the question, Why do women have to choose?
Why can’t you be a brilliant businesswoman, capable of leading the next generation of women into powerful positions as world changers and still express your sexuality and your pleasure around sexuality?
For the past 13 years, Dr Pollins has been teaching women how to build true wealth—from their finances, to their relationships, to their mind, body and sexuality—so they can recognize, nurture and honor their TRUE value in the world.
Gahmya is an award winning Curriculum Designer. She is on a mission to push humanity forward through education. She has designed programs with top educators around the globe—in over 20 countries. She helps leaders and learning organizations to create transformative educational programs. She helps schools to redesign their learning strategies.
Inspired by a statement by President Barack Obama about the success of South Korea’s schools, in 2009, Gahmya traveled to schools around the world on a quest to uncover how kids learn. In 2018, she revealed her findings to a packed crowd during a TED Talk in New York.
She has spoken on the TED stage, as well as TEDx, twice. She is a published author. She served in the Peace Corps, in Central Asia, for two years. And she speaks 6 languages—Arabic, Korean, Russian, Spanish, Turkmen and English.
Rebecca has a background of almost 20 years of business development, strategy and consulting. She also has a love of languages and a lifetime of travel. She’s combined all of this in her latest venture, helping create fun and educational experiences for families around the globe from Costa Rica to Cuba, from Mexico to Spain. These are complete “done for you” experiences—everything taken care of, from accommodation to transportation to daily activities and parent nights out. One thing we know for certain, is that once the lockdowns are over, families everywhere will be investing time and money in travel experiences…
Rebecca is a seasoned educator and experienced business strategist, with experience consulting for organizations on program and product innovation, training, project management, as well as research, communications, and marketing. She has guided school start-ups, non-profit strategic planning, cross-cultural communication and leadership development. She has a Masters of Education from Harvard Graduate School of Education and a Masters in Communication Management from the University of Southern California.
Angela is an expert at strategic planning, leadership development and consulting. For over a decade, she’s been a consultant at The Grantsmanship Center, the lead source of grant-related training and information in the world. And she’s been a consultant, coach and trusted advisor to leaders and high-performing teams for over 13 years.
The novelist, Scott Fitzgerald, once said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” And Angela embodies that concept because she is also a licensed spiritual practitioner at The Agape International Spiritual Center, in Los Angeles. And she’s trained in guiding people on healing their limiting beliefs and conditioning around power, sexuality and wellness.
Alex is an expert in sales and marketing, with a track record generating six-figures in revenue and six-figure launches. He has a background in psychology and a decade of leadership experience in the non-profit world.
He also knows what it’s like to do everything that’s expected of you but still feel empty. He struggled for years but hid behind jokes and seeking approval, so he could fit in. It was really a mask for the pain and loneliness he constantly felt. And it led to using drugs for years and keeping anyone who wanted to get close at arm’s length.
Alex is now a father and a husband, with years of deep personal work behind him. He has partnered with his wife, Sarah—who has been a consultant to start-up companies and companies with over $80M in revenue—to create a high-performance business and consulting firm.
Leaders who are stuck in feelings of scarcity, indecision, and negative thinking but want to build a high-performance business of their own, are the ones who call Alex.
Je’Von’s career took him from Division 1 football to a career on Wall Street. His life and work was glamorous, yet not fulfilling. So he did what many dream of, yet never have the courage to do. He traveled the world, exploring the wisdom of spirituality, religion and meditation.
He returned home with a realization that he was not the only one who felt called to explore beyond a traditional career and metrics for success that brought you money and titles but left you empty on the inside. He now works with leaders, coaching them to enhance every level of their performance, from the inside out. He is also the owner of a strength and conditioning gym and he’s a trained ashtanga yoga teacher.
Shermain is an expert at understanding complex systems. This was a valuable skill over close to 20 years working in network operations, technical services and as an infrastructure engineer. It turns out that leadership is even more complex than computer networks and for the past 20 years, Shermain has been a leader, mentor and trusted advisor.
Shermain is a problem-solver by nature, and a consultant, coach and trainer by career. He is gifted at staying level-headed when things are uncertain. And in complex situations, he knows how to focus on understanding the real problem. When leaders are facing uncertain times and complex challenges—and they need the courage to overcome them—Shermain is the person they call.
There are secrets around childbirth, carried by too many people, that are rarely talked about. Shockingly, Black women die in childbirth 3 times more often than white women, in the US. Losing a pregnancy is painful and traumatic. So is infertility. No one warns you about them. And no one prepares you for them.
Naima is an educator and critical thinker who knows the importance of listening deeply. She has supported hundreds of expectant parents over many years. She’s been a doula, an agency director, and an instructor.
She’s the founder of For Your Birth, an intentionally diverse doula agency to support the experiences of Black and queer birthing people and empower marginalized families. She’s an expert in helping parents clarify their goals and craft the experience that they want to have in birth and parenting. And her Birth Equity Fund is raising money to provide birth and postpartum doula support—for no charge—to people who can’t afford it, while also paying BIPOC doulas a competitive wage.
Nobody hears your story.
They hear their story in your story…
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