Articles

I have written every day for the past 10 years. If you like to read, I've got your back - and I promise to challenge your thinking
Back to articles
February 24, 2018 • Fearless Coaching

The #1 Mistake That Impacts Your Confidence

A year ago I coached someone live, on a teleseminar, listened to by an audience of over 1,100 people.

A coach who heard the conversation messaged me the next day:

“Rich, you are a master of saying things that make me uncomfortable—like you did on the call yesterday, with the guy you were coaching.

You told him to get present when you heard him typing in the background.

You called him out. It was great to witness.

Yet if I consider doing the same, I get scared and say nothing.”

=============================
HERE’S WHAT *ACTUALLY* HAPPENED
=============================

The listener made an interesting observation. But here’s what ACTUALLY happened…

When I initially heard the client typing, I felt a little overwhelmed.

Thoughts began to swirl around my head, especially because I was aware that so many people were listening in.

So I ignored his typing and tried to keep coaching him, anyway.

Then, in real time, a member of my team texted me. We’d planned that I would have my cellphone in front of me, so she could message me in case of any technical issues.

The message read: “He’s not very present, Rich. I can hear him typing furiously in the background…”

When I read it, I immediately snapped back into what was really going on.

If he was busy making notes on our conversation, he could miss the one insight that might change everything.

So, I took a deep breath.

I told him to stop.

I told him to get truly present to our conversation.

And it was from that moment on that the true impact of the coaching really began to take place.

=================
NATURAL CONFIDENCE
=================

When I first started building my coaching practice—about 12 years ago—I was fascinated by ‘natural confidence’.

You see, I’d lacked confidence for SO much of my life.

Who were those people who seemed to be confident in EVERY situation?

I interviewed dozens of amazing people.

Guests on Oprah, Olympic athletes, even a man who was paid to break into banks for a living to test their security systems.

One of the most important lessons I learned was that I tended to lack confidence when I compared what other people LOOKED like on the outside, compared with how I was FEELING on the inside…

What a mistake that was!

I had NO CLUE what they were feeling on the inside.

Over the years, I’ve met and coached super successful people in all sorts of fields—from high-performing athletes, to multi-million dollar business owners to special forces operatives.

And whilst a few of them are confident in every situation, MOST of them can look totally confident on the outside, whilst going through EVERYTHING I go through on the inside…

Self-doubt, insecurity, fear of missing out, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, voices in your head that say you are not enough, deep exhaustion, loneliness…

I know ALL of these.

I’ve met world-class athletes, entrepreneurs and even millionaires who feel ALL of these. Often on a regular basis.

Sound familiar?

You are not alone.

Which makes JOB #1 simple, but not easy:

STOP COMPARING HOW *YOU FEEL* ON THE INSIDE WITH HOW *THEY LOOK* ON THE OUTSIDE.

Love. Rich

PS. Dramatically increase your confidence as a coach by mastering enrolling clients. Drastically increase your ability to raise your fees and up-level your clients. And learn to have fun making money. Join me on The 90 Day Money Game. There’s still time to join us…

 

PLUS, whenever you’re ready – here are 4 more ways you can drastically increase your income and impact as a world-class coach:

  1. Assess your current coaching level and learn how to get to your next level. Read – or remind yourself of – The Litvin Levels, from The Prosperous Coach.
  2. Watch me coach some of the top coaches on the planet, in order to drastically uplevel your coaching skills. Join me on How To Coach A Superhero: The 4PC edition. 
  3. Imagine joining a Deep Coaching experience alongside the members of 4PC, my community of high-level coaches… We only offer The 4PC Accelerator once a year and it always sells out in advance. Save $1,000 with early-bird pricing. 
  4. Learn how to enroll and coach successful, talented and ambitious clients – with power and impact. Join my flagship program, Project Kairos – for 8 months of guidance, challenge and support to master creating clients. 

 

Transforming world-class leaders into world-class coaches.
That’s what we do.

If this sounds like you, let’s talk and explore if working together is a good fit.

Learn more about ways to work together

<h2>Join the Deep Dive Waitlist</h2>

<form accept-charset="UTF-8" action="https://jk322.infusionsoft.com/app/form/process/5bc29e0421b01e24647c19a6050e234b" class="infusion-form" id="inf_form_5bc29e0421b01e24647c19a6050e234b" method="POST">
    <input name="inf_form_xid" type="hidden" value="5bc29e0421b01e24647c19a6050e234b" />
    <input name="inf_form_name" type="hidden" value="Web Form submitted" />
    <input name="infusionsoft_version" type="hidden" value="1.70.0.523259" />
    <div class="infusion-field">
        <label for="inf_field_FirstName">First Name *</label>
        <input id="inf_field_FirstName" name="inf_field_FirstName" placeholder="First Name *" type="text" />
    </div>
    <div class="infusion-field">
        <label for="inf_field_Email">Email *</label>
        <input id="inf_field_Email" name="inf_field_Email" placeholder="Email *" type="text" />
    </div>
    <div>
        <div>&nbsp;</div>
    </div>
    <div class="infusion-submit">
        <button class="infusion-recaptcha" id="recaptcha_5bc29e0421b01e24647c19a6050e234b" type="submit">Submit</button>
    </div>
</form>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://jk322.infusionsoft.app/app/webTracking/getTrackingCode"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://jk322.infusionsoft.com/resources/external/recaptcha/production/recaptcha.js?b=1.70.0.523259"></script>
<script src="https://www.google.com/recaptcha/api.js?onload=onloadInfusionRecaptchaCallback&render=explicit" async="async" defer="defer"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://jk322.infusionsoft.com/app/timezone/timezoneInputJs?xid=5bc29e0421b01e24647c19a6050e234b"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://jk322.infusionsoft.com/js/jquery/jquery-3.3.1.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://jk322.infusionsoft.app/app/webform/overwriteRefererJs"></script>

Join the Deep Dive wait list

You will be notified when we open registration for the next Deep Dive