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The Dark Side of Success

It was back in 2011 and I was getting tired of all the noise online about how to build a coaching practice.

I was tired of all the people teaching you how to hustle… And how to offer 25 minute taster sessions… And how to create glossy websites… And how to use targeted Google and Facebook Ads… And SEO and CPC and PPV and SMO… OMG!

So I partnered with my friend Steve Chandler and we wrote a book called The Prosperous Coach.

Someone told me recently that you should never write a book that you wouldn’t love to be talking about in 3 years.

Well, it’s six years since The Prosperous Coach was first published and I still love talking about it. And it’s still selling 1,000 copies a month, every single month. Without a single online ad.

The Dark Side of Success

Most people focus on the trappings of success and they miss its’ traps. But success always has a dark side.

And I began to face mine, over the past couple of years…

The irony is that because my book sold so well, my coaching practice began to change.

I’ve always had between 3 and 5 private clients. And they always come by invitation and referral only. 

But over time, I also began to build a community of incredible coaches, through our live Intensives. And then I began to build 4PC, our community of really top performers.

I grew my team from just me, a virtual assistant and a graphic designer to a team of ten people.

I used to run events for 30 people and I began to run events for 150 people.

I went from being a coach to being a manager. I coached less. I had coaches working for me – coaching and enrolling clients.

So here I was, an expert at building a boutique business – one relationship at a time – leading a business that was growing fast. 

And I fell into a trap. I began to believe that there is only one thing you can do with a business that’s growing… 

And that’s to scale it. 

Well, that’s what everyone tells you, right? Scale up. Go big. Achieve growth.

So I did.

I grew, and I scaled, and I scaled, and I grew.

If you think it’s your Zone of Genius but it drains you, it isn’t

On the outside, I had a successful business.

On the inside, I was frustrated, I was bored, I was exhausted. I had less time with my family and I wasn’t having much fun anymore. 

I love building teams. I love nurturing and supporting people. And my business was really growing. So I couldn’t understand why my energy was shrinking… 

And then I heard Verne Harnish say, If you think it’s your Zone of Genius but it drains you, it isn’t!

And it hit me… I’m a great manager but I am an extraordinary coach and I’m a visionary leader. And when I am doing anything but the latter two, I get drained of energy.

Building teams is fun for me. It’s my Zone of Excellence. I do it better than most people. But it’s not my Zone of Genius.

So, I told my team that it was time for me to get back to coaching and creating.

My business plan for years has been a single line: Meet fun and interesting people. And I said to the team, “Let’s fill my calendar with conversations with fun and interesting people.”

If scaling up doesn’t make your heart sing, scale back

I’d been doing all the things you’re ‘supposed’ to do to grow a business when I realized that I didn’t want to scale up, I wanted to scale back

I began to scale back my time and my energy. I began to do things that made me feel alive again. We had our core team go from 10 people to 3 people and things felt fun, exciting and energizing. My heart began to sing, again!

I filled my calendar with coaching experiences like The Deep Dive and small group coaching sessions for 4PC members. 

I launched Project Kairos to help leaders create a boutique practice with a handful of high-performing clients. And it sold out, 8 weeks and 1 day after I created it!

I even had my right hand woman lock me out of my email account other than for a couple of hours a week.

I went on vacation to Croatia for a month. And I got to travel with my mum. This is us on a trip to Venice, Italy. That expression on our faces is because we’re caught in a gondola traffic jam!

I have a friend who received a huge investment in his business a few years back. It seemed so exciting but the last time I saw him he was completely worn out. It’s not so easy to relax when other people’s money is invested in your company.

I have another friend who travels across the US, giving keynotes for big corporations. That seemed so glamorous but he just got divorced because his wife was tired of him not being around.

I coached a man who had sold his business for 8 figures. He said to me, “Rich, I was about to start my second business, when I realized that I only started the first to be happy… And I’m still not happy.”

Monkey traps!

Success has traps in it.

And what got you here won’t get you there. 

In fact, what got you here can sometimes be precisely what is holding you back from where you want to go next. 

A monkey trap is a cage, or even just a hole in a tree, used by a hunter in Africa. It has a hole containing a banana that is just large enough for a monkey’s hand to fit in, but not large enough for a monkey’s fist (clutching a banana) to come out.

It’s used to catch monkeys quite simply because they lack the imagination to let go of the banana and run away!

It’s sad and slightly funny but here’s the thing… We all have monkey traps. 

What are you holding onto so tightly that it’s trapping you, right now?!

If you coach top performers, make it your job to help them discover the dark sides of their success.

And if you are a top performer, make it your job to hire a great coach – to help you discover the dark sides of your own success.

Love. Rich

 

PS. In the spirit of you can never tell them enough! Here are my favorite resources for you…

PPS. There are just 5 spots left to join me at my once-a-year 4PC Accelerator and become a Powerful Coach… Command fees beyond the range of most coaches. Become sought after by clients. Develop provocative ideas. Build a body of work. And learn from my special guest: my friend/coach/consultant, Daniel Priestley. Daniel has built successful multi-million dollar businesses in Australia, UK and Singapore. He is a best-selling author and he’ll be teaching us a tool that literally gets potential clients knocking at your door. That’s not hyperbole, I’ve been using it for over 5 years…

PLUS, whenever you’re ready – here are 4 more ways you can drastically increase your income and impact as a world-class coach:

  1. Join Project Kairos to truly master The Prosperous Coach Approach. Don’t miss out… 
  2. Join me on two of my most popular programs: In How to Coach a Superhero, you’ll learn how to coach highly successful clients and do high-level group coaching. In Money. Money. Money, you’ll handle your limiting beliefs around money, and become financially fearless. There’s a special price to join both…
  3. Join me for a desert coaching adventure – at The Deep Dive, in Dubai, this December – to sit on one of my legendary hot seats… Only 2 spots left.
  4. If you get high on exciting ideas and like to act fast, there’s a single spot left to become my Protegé. You’ll absolutely transform your coaching business (and yourself). It’s a two year commitment and a $100K investment. Or reserve the final spot for a Thinking Partnership in 2022. You’ll join my 1:1 client alumni – some of the most extraordinary and successful coaches and leaders out there – including, Mark Silverman, Sumi Krishnan, Kelly Ramon, Jennifer Gresham, Jackie Knechtel, Todd Buterbaugh, Helen MacMillan, Annabel Hands, Becky Strauss, Christina Berkley, Jeanine Becker, Vanessa Horn, Terrance Thames, Destin Gerek, Evelyne Brink, Chris Libutti, Townsend Wardlaw, Tatiana Poliakova, Sylvia Rhode-Liebenau, Sara Milne Rowe, Madelaine Vallin, Gisela Lowenstein, Tracey Russell, Patty Ivey.
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