My son, Kaleo, just turned 10. Wise beyond his years, he told me he didn’t really want a gift this year. He loves to read and connect with his friends but he’s not really into kid things. (A chip off the old block!)
So, I decided to create an experience for him instead.
More of that in a moment…
In Dan and Chip Heath’s book, The Power of Moments, they say that great experiences hinge on “peak” moments—the defining moments that shape our lives.
But we don’t need to wait for them to happen to us.
We can create them…
Defining moments are created from one or more of the following elements:
These are experiences that rise above the routine. They make us feel engaged, joyful, amazed and motivated. They raise the stakes and break the script on how things are usually done.
These are moments when we are recognized for our efforts, accomplishments or ideas. They are often at milestone moments in life. And they also occur after a moment of courage.
These are moments that involve shared meaning. They deepen ties and bond us more closely.
The Fast and The Furious
Kaleo loves watching The Fast and The Furious movies. They are bonding times for us when we watch them together.
And he loves the car that Vin Diesel drives in the movies.
I couldn’t get that car as it’s displayed in the Austin Auto Show. So I did the next best thing.
I rented a Dodge Challenger for two days and showed up to his school in it, as a surprise, to drive him home.
His jaw hit the floor when he saw it!
Elevation… Check. This was fun and exciting and very different to the way we usually do things.
Pride… Check. Kaleo felt seen. It was a milestone birthday. And he hasn’t stopped talking to his friends about it.
Connection… Check. Driving in this car together has been deeply bonding. “Rev the engine, Dad. Louder. Louder!”
If you want to build community and deep connection and clients who rave about their experiences with you—for ever—create defining moments for them.
I have some clients who have been working with me since 2008—almost 14 years. I have many members of my community who have returned to our Intensives over a dozen times. And I launched 4PC almost 8 years ago and there are members of 4PC who are about to commence their eighth year of membership.
My team and I work long and hard on ways to create defining moments for my clients—and my community—again and again and again.
The Power of Insight
By the way, there’s one more element involved in the creation of a defining moment…
There’s a reason my Podcast is called 1 Insight. I’m only ever coaching for an insight.
Life is one way, an insight occurs and, from that moment on, life is very different.
You can’t “give” a client an insight. But deep coaching—followed by space for gentle reflection, between sessions—can create the space for insights to occur.
To create space for the powerful action that’s needed, to follow an insight moment:
- Tell your client that you have high expectations for them.
- Then tell them that you know they can meet them. The 4 most powerful words in coaching are “I believe in you…”
- Set them challenges.
- Place them in new situations that expose them to the risk of failure.
- And when they do fail, help them to recover.
When you stretch your clients further than they imagine they can go, you will spark defining moments.
You’ll create raving fans and even clients for life.
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