I have written every day for the past 10 years. If you like to read, I've got your back - and I promise to challenge your thinking

They know.

A friend of the essayist David Perrell told him about the author of a wonderful memoir. 

After its release, she was asked what it takes to write such an outstanding book. She replied, 

“If you want to write a good book,
write about the things you don’t want
others to know about you.

If you want to write a great book,
write about the things you don’t want
to know about yourself.”

This idea struck me deeply. 

What I don’t want you to know about me

My community and clients are very familiar with this sentence stem. “What I don’t want you to know about me…” is how I regularly begin a training or a coaching session. I’ve often started speeches to large audiences with the same phrase. 

You see, I spent the first half of my life pushing away any sense of vulnerability. Vulnerability was a weakness, in my mind. There was no way I could let you see me as weak. 

I hid my tears. I stuffed down my feelings. And in relationships, I never let my partner in.

I’ve spent twenty five years working on myself. 

I’m still a work in progress but I definitely have a new relationship with vulnerability. 

I try not to hide what’s going on. And when I catch that I am stuffing down my feelings (or, more likely, Monique catches it before me!) I am pretty quick to own what is going on.

Beginning with the words, “What I don’t want you to know about me…” allows me to get out of my own way and share truths before I am ready. 

Vulnerability is a strength and these words are my route in.

Look, I’m very human and there are still a few things that I don’t want others to know about me but I am as open as I can manage with my friends, my clients and my community. 

However, the thought of reflecting on what I don’t want to know about myself is pretty visceral.

I’ve been journaling about it for a few days now.

What don’t I want to know about myself includes:

  • The secret shame I have inside because I didn’t stand up to the kids who bullied me at school, or the person who bullied me in my first ever job… 
  • My fear about the emptiness inside me, that I constantly try to fill with success and busywork…
  • My unease at the blindspots other people see in me, that I cannot see in myself…
  • My discomfort about how I would feel about myself if I wasn’t successful…
  • My awkwardness about why I can sometimes feel intimated about initiating sex… 
  • The tension I feel underneath it all because I’m still very insecure…
  • My anxiety about what I’d discover about myself if I stopped working so hard… 
  • How tight my chest gets when I wonder whether I’d risk my life for someone I love who was in danger…
  • How my intellect is trying to manage my fear… 
  • How I unconsciously slip into taking care of everyone else’s emotional needs… 
  • How I feel responsible for making everyone else feel comfortable… 

Ooh. That was tough to write. And it’s tough to share. 

I’m sure there’s more. I shall keep thinking and journaling. 

There’s nothing as impactful as reflecting on a powerful question.

I just came across some incredible art by Leah Saulnier. The piece above is called Book of Secrets. For me it captures the nature of the human condition.  

We each have a face that we show to the world, hoping that no one can see just how much we are hiding. 

Yet they know. 

They know.

Love. Rich 



PS. Don’t miss out on The 100K Club: A six-month Master’s Degree in High-Ticket Client Creation. This comprehensive program is designed to help you achieve 6-figure coaching success. The price increases by $2500 on July 30, so secure your spot now to lock in the best deal. Take action today and start your journey to coaching mastery! 🚀 Click here to reserve your spot now.


Plus, whenever you’re ready – here are 4 ways you can drastically increase your income and impact as a world-class coach… 

  1. Rich Litvin’s 1:1 Coaching Playbook: Learn my top 10 proven tools for coaching elite clients in this self-paced training. 
  2. Rich Litvin’s Group Coaching Playbook: Make group coaching a lucrative and fun part of your business. Effortlessly fill and lead impactful group programs.
  3. Join me this July to write your book, transform your coaching business, and attract your dream clients: $100K Book: How to Write A (Tiny) Book That Creates Clients
  4. Join my newest program, “Million Dollar Team.” Learn how to build and empower your team of top performers. Or learn how to coach clients who are leaders and entrepreneurs that need a proven framework to guide them as they scale their team. 




Stay connected with Rich

Get Rich's latest thinking and have him challenge YOUR thinking on a regular basis!

Great Leaders are Great Coaches

For most of human history it wasn’t called coaching, it was called leadership.
We teach highly successful leaders to become highly successful coaches.

If this sounds like you, let’s talk and explore if working together is a good fit.