On May 11, I turn 55. It’s been an interesting journey, so far.
I was a shy, sensitive and nervous kid.
In some ways not a lot has changed. That kid is very present and at times he’s still running the show. In other ways, I’m 180° away from that young boy.
As a teenager, I was terrified to meet girls. In my 20s and 30s, nothing much changed. I have felt awkward meeting strangers for a very long time!
My 20s and 30s were mainly spent trying really hard to prove myself. But it turns out that success is the only addiction that we get a great deal of praise and acknowledgment for. And it was an addiction I was really good at.
So, my successes only left me feeling emptier because I was still insecure on the inside and they didn’t really count, in my mind.
For more than half of my life, I learned about confidence from the outside-in.
I bought into the belief that when you can fake confidence you’ve got it made.
But it’s a lie.
When you fake confidence, success doesn’t help – your imposter syndrome simply increases.
Real confidence comes from the inside-out. Real confidence comes from leaning into your fears.
I actually grew in confidence after I got fired. I grew in confidence when Monique ended our marriage after 3 years (which is part of the reason we later got back together). I grew in confidence because I struggled in business but committed to keep going no matter what.
If you want to build your confidence, take on challenges, accept hardship, face your fears, commit to the long haul.
It’s not easy. It’s often messy.
But you’ll build inner strength and unwavering self-belief and you’ll learn to tackle future challenges with courage.
I’ve been studying confidence for the past 20 years
When I first became a coach, I decided to study confidence and coach people around it as I learned. Marketing experts told me, “You can’t build a brand around confidence.” I said I didn’t care. I was doing it for me!
I spent two years traveling the world, interviewing the world’s most confident people. My first ever website was thatconfidenceguy.com. I spent two years running 30-minute “Instant Confidence sessions.” I was the founder of The Confident Woman’s Salon, where I coached hundreds of powerful women, for over a decade.
And I learned a lot about confidence that was counterintuitive:
- I discovered that confidence is a result, not a requirement…
- I discovered that true confidence is simply feeling comfortable in your own skin…
- I discovered that you are often stronger and happier after doing hard or scary things…
- I discovered that trying to get rid of Imposter Syndrome is a mistake – you actually need to get good at it…
- I discovered that true confidence grows as you learn to be masterful with language…
And I discovered that the single biggest challenge for coaches at every level is knowing how to keep building your confidence, or the confidence of your clients.
ACBC: Advanced Confidence Building for Coaches
It took me 20 years of study – and a lifetime of learning – but I’ve finally created a program to give you access to the advanced confidence building tools I’ve been teaching my private clients for years…
ACBC: Advanced Confidence-Building for Coaches is a completely live program, where over the course of three 2-hour group sessions with me, you’ll unlock the secrets to authentic confidence. You’ll gain the skills you need to transform your coaching practice. You’ll learn how to drastically increase the confidence of your clients.
Imagine being able to confidently charge higher fees and enroll high-performing clients for life… Imagine having the unshakable confidence to uplevel your coaching practice and create the clients you truly desire…
The ACBC Program Structure
Session 1: Coach with Confidence. You’ll develop your professional self-esteem, overcome imposter syndrome, and make confident decisions that positively impact your clients’ lives.
Session 2: Speak with Confidence. You’ll enhance your connection with potential clients, improve your speaking abilities, and gain the confidence to promote and sell your services with ease and authenticity.
Session 3: Lead with Confidence. You’ll develop the skills of resilience and adaptability, so you can maintain a thriving coaching practice in an ever-changing world.
No matter whether you have a 20 year track record of success behind you, or you’re a complete beginner, there’s nothing more important than deep, natural confidence in order to have success in your coaching business.
As I write, I turn 55 in two days. I still feel like that playful 9 year old, that insecure 16 year old, and that 29 year old trying to prove himself.
But I also feel a sense of deep, natural confidence on a regular basis. And I want that for you.
Come join me to learn everything I know about this life-changing emotion we call confidence.
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- Find Your Mission: The Los Angeles Deep Dive will help you develop a mission that’s powerfully aligned with your values.
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