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February 8, 2022 • Rich Litvin

What clients say vs what they mean

My son’s preschool teacher once sent me a great article on what children say vs what they mean:

“I had it first” = “I want it. Now!” 

“I hate you!” = “I’m angry.”

“You’re a meanie” = “I’m mad at you. I want my way.”

Just like little kids, your clients often don’t say what they mean… 

A great coach listens between their clients’ words 

They listen for what is not being said. 

They listen to the question behind the question. 

They pay attention to the real issue, not the presenting issue.  

Your clients don’t always mean what they say, or say what they mean.

It’s your job to decipher what’s really going on.   

Draw out their secret desires and their deepest fears. 

Draw out their gifts, their hidden gifts and the dark side of their gifts.

Get curious about how they think, not just what they think.

Get curious about where their motivation and their energy come from.

Listen to the content of their stories and then draw out the real context of the situation.

Love. Rich

 

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  1. Assess your current coaching level and learn how to get to your next level. Read – or remind yourself of – The Litvin Levels, from The Prosperous Coach.
  2. Watch me coach some of the top coaches on the planet, in order to drastically uplevel your coaching skills. Join me on How To Coach A Superhero: The 4PC edition. 
  3. Imagine joining a Deep Coaching experience alongside the members of 4PC, my community of high-level coaches… We only offer The 4PC Accelerator once a year and it always sells out in advance. Save $1,000 with early-bird pricing. 
  4. Learn how to enroll and coach successful, talented and ambitious clients – with power and impact. Join my flagship program, Project Kairos – for 8 months of guidance, challenge and support to master creating clients. 

 

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That’s what we do.

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