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Who You Are Speaks So Loudly, I Can’t Hear What You’re Saying

Bob Hoffman is known as The Ad Contrarian and he just wrote a little piece that made me laugh out loud:

I walk into a crowded party.

“Can I have everyone’s attention, please. I just want you all to know that I am the handsomest man in America.”

What I have SAID is that I am an amazingly good looking guy. But what I have COMMUNICATED is that I am a giant, flaming asshole.

What a funny and beautiful distinction between what we SAY and what we COMMUNICATE.


The job of an extraordinary coach is to bring gentle awareness of this distinction to our clients.

Listen BENEATH the words of your clients’ to discover their heart’s desires and their inner wisdom.

Listen to what their behavior tells you they are ACTUALLY committed to, not what they SAY they want.

Don’t answer your clients’ questions, discover the questions they’ve never dared to ask out loud.

Dive so deep that they share with you things they’ve never told another living soul.

They’ll probably cry.

Be ok with tears. They’ll thank you later. And then (gently) dive deeper still. Don’t listen to their words, listen for who they BE.

And then remind them that they are far more powerful than they could imagine.

Don’t be a coach. Be an extraordinary coach.

Love. Rich

P.S. Join our commuinty of extraordinary coaches at The Fearless Coaching Intensive in April. If you haven’t already reserved your ticket, join our wait list now and be the first to have access to the remaining seats when we open registration again mid-January. Join the wait list here:

PS. Whenever you’re ready – here are 3 ways you can drastically increase your income and impact as a world-class coach… 

  1. Rich Litvin’s 1:1 Coaching Playbook: Learn my top 10 proven tools for coaching elite clients in this live training. Over 100 people joined me for our first live call – and all calls are recorded, so it’s not too late to join me…
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